You get what you pay for.

What do you think of when I say “you get what you pay for”? The first thought that some of you might have, may be about paying very little for a service and getting some shoddy work done. However, if I say “what about in food service”? Was the first thing you thought of something along the lines of “well sure, you pay $.99 for a burger, you should not expect the best quality”. Of course it would be simple if that was the topic I was trying to discuss; however, it is not.

Recently, I was reminded of two times where I couldn't stop laughing about something that happened to me while in the drive-thru at a fast food establishment. The first involved going to McDonald’s with my sister and ordering several McFlurry’s. We had various ones with different toppings, but it was when we got to the last one that we started having a problem. We wanted one McFlurry, plain, or basically just the ice cream in a cup. We received several reasons for why it was impossible to make a plain McFlurry, ranging from “it couldn’t be entered into the register”, to “the spoon only gets added when it is used to mix the topping into the ice cream”. It took almost five minutes of arguing in the drive-thru and then finally getting a manager into the conversation before the employees were shown how easy it could be done. I was recently at Dairy Queen, and I started laughing hysterically when I wondered how they might handle a person asking for a blizzard with no toppings.

The second event involved an incident at Burger King; however, it also dealt with ordering an item plain. Unfortunately, when you order a double cheeseburger plain, you should still expect to get cheese on it, otherwise it would be a double hamburger and not a cheeseburger. The employee defended what they did by saying that “plain meant nothing on it”.

I am sure that some of you might consider these incidents as standard for the fast food industry, but I can honestly say that there are “some” fast food establishments that I absolutely enjoy going to since I have never had an issue with the products or service I receive. So it makes me wonder, have you ever thought that paying employees crappy wages results in getting crappy products/service? If you have ever eaten at an In-n-Out, you would know what paying employees a good wage does for service and quality food.

So what do you think? Do you get what you pay for with regard to employee wages?

Is Homosexuality Contagious?

***This was written by my Aunt, Judy Angelo, on April 7th, 1999, for a class she was taking in college. She sent a copy of the paper to my mother, because she wrote about me and my mom in this paper. I believe this is wonderfully written, and my mom, before she passed, had said so as well. 

I contacted my Aunt and received permission to reprint the paper here for ya'll to see. She added: "It doesn't mean that I condone it just that it isn't something you catch from someone.  We are suppose to Love the sinner but hate the sin and since we are all sinners no one is better than anyone else."***

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Is Homosexuality Contagious?

Will a child who is raised by a homosexual parent grow up to be gay? Not according to researchers. "More than thirty-five studies in the past fifteen years have shown that children of gay parents are no more likely to become gay and are just as well adjusted as other children" (Miller 43). Noted researchers, Alan Bell and Martin Weinberg, the Bell research team, "dispelled the myth that homosexuality can be caught from someone. They found that not only did most subjects (both male and female) report that their first homosexual encounter involved someone of their own age, they were less likely than heterosexual subjects to have had initial sexual encounters with a stranger or an adult" (Ettinger et al. 305). I have a nephew that is gay, a very good friend whose daughter is gay, and I worked with a gay man for several years, and none of these homosexuals have a gay or lesbian parent. If all homosexuals had to come from a homosexual parent then soon everyone would be homosexual and our species would become extinct.

What effect could there be on an adolescent raised in a homosexual household? The effect on the adolescent would depend on several factors such as when the child learned of the sexual orientation of the parent, how the child learned about it, and how others in the family reacted to it. A child learns family values from the parent and if the child is taught to accept that different people have different lifestyles and though their family life may be different it's right for them, then the child will probably accept the parents lifestyle and even learn tolerance toward other people that are different. One subject named Rebecca Jo tells of her life with her gay father. Rebecca's father and mother were never married because her mother was a lesbian. Rebecca lived with her father and his lover Mohammed. She states that "I have always lived with my dad and I have no regrets about my childhood. The funniest part about growing up in an all-male household is that all of us had to learn 'girl things' together. Did I think they were too strict and overprotective? Probably, but I had two parents who wanted me to be happy, and they both looked forward to being grandfathers some day. And I knew that some day I would be a wonderful wife and mother"(Miller 45-46). If a child finds out accidentally, or when they are older there could be emotional problems. In the case study of Marshall, a young man who didn't find out about his father's homosexuality until he was out of college, you can understand his anger and hurt. From a young age Marshall wanted to be just like his father and play in a band. When his classmates would call his father a "fag" or "fairy" Marshall would fight them to defend his father. Marshall's mother was worried about Marshall getting hurt in a fight but "no one was going to call his father gay and get away with it"(Miller 75). Marshall received a degree in music and started to travel and play with his father's band. One evening when Marshall and his father were alone his father said "Son, you know all these years your friends called me gay? Well, I have been gay all my life. Your mother knew but made me promise not to tell. Now that you're a man, I thought you should know. Marshall sprang out of his chair and shouted. You son of a bitch! All those years I defended you. I had the crap kicked out of me more times than I can count. You lied to me, and I bet you lied to my mother so no one would ever really know you were a fag. I don't ever want to see you again"(Miller 76). I can understand Marshall's outburst but he probably would have felt bad if he had found out his father had cheated on his mother with other women, or if he secretly abused her. Marshall felt betrayed because he had defended his father for so many years and even suffered beatings because of it. If his father had confessed sooner Marshall would not have had to defend him.

Is homosexuality inherent, genetic or learned? The answer to this question varies depending on who you ask. A number of theories have evolved but none fully explain the issue. Most of the biological explanations of sexual orientation suspect an imbalance of hormones that causes homosexuality. Testosterone is present in both girls and boys but during puberty it doubles in girls while in boys the testosterone levels increase as much as thirty times during the same time span (Miller 26). Another study suggests that the reduction of the male hormone androgen may lead to male homosexuality. One researcher tested this assumption by giving extra androgen to some homosexual volunteers. All it did was to increase their desire for men (Miller 27). Many researchers think biological factors may play a critical role in sexual orientation, but scientists have not yet been able to prove it.

The learning theory emphasizes the importance of learning in the development of sexual orientation and believe that homosexuality is the result of negative heterosexual experiences. According to these behavioral theorists, homosexuality is learned either by rewards stimulating the behavioral (homosexual) pattern or punishment associated with the opposite (heterosexual) behavioral pattern (Miller 28).

The psychodynamic theory proposes that the relationship between parents and children may have an effect on sexual orientation. These theorist believe that we are all pansexual (arousable by both sexes) and that during the course of a lifetime we all go through stages both homoerotic and heterotic. Conflicts or fixations at key stages of development can result in a homosexual orientation, whereas conflicts or fixations at other stages can result in a heterosexual orientation (Miller 29).

I tend to believe that homosexuality is a combination of these theories. Both my sister, whose son is gay, and my friend, whose daughter is gay, believes their child was born homosexual. They both say they knew when the child was very young that they were different. One the other hand both were in abusive marriages when the child was born. In both marriages the husband was the dominant or controlling person. I think a person may be born with a genetic predisposition to homosexuality perhaps caused by a prenatal hormone imbalance, but I don't feel we can discount the importance of the role between parent and child. When one parent is abusive the other might be over-protective causing an unrealistic view of the normal male/female role. I think there is still a great amount of research to be done, and at this point homosexuality could be genetic, it could stem from the parent/child relationship, but more likely is a combination of the two.

A great Christmas story...

I was recently reading one of those inspirational stories about people coming together to help someone in need. It reminded me of this story that happened to my mom and I during Christmas 1989. Please enjoy...

It was Christmas of 1989. I had turned 18 the past September, and was living with my Mother. I had purchased my car ($400 for a 1969 Ford Falcon, it was Powder blue and had beige doors) for my birthday, so I would drive to school and work. My mom and I did not have lots of money, in fact, most of my paychecks went to help pay the bills, since both my mom and I were making $3.35 an hour (basically).

We had decided that we were not going to have a Christmas, that we would just spend the day together at home. 

Now I know that none of you guys knew my mom, and I will admit I was a complete Mommy's boy. I truly loved my mom, and I really miss her now that she is gone. I guess it might have been because our birthdays were a day apart (hers Sept 27th, mine Sept 28th), but basically, she was always there for me, and for anyone else that needed a mom to talk to.

Anyway, so I was working for Pizza Hut Delivery in Pensacola, FL, and everyone had started talking about their plans for the holiday (Pizza hut being closed for Christmas). knowing that I wasn't going to do any celebrating  I stayed out of the conversation, until someone asked me directly, and I told them about the decision that my mom and I had made. I included the fact that there were no children at home, just the two of us, so it really didn't matter how we celebrated it.

That conversation was a few days before the actual holiday, and since we were not doing any celebrating, I offered to help close the store on Christmas Eve.

Early that evening, one of the delivery drivers came up to me and asked a favor. I said sure, and he proceeded to remind me about how he had recently gotten married to a christian woman, him having been raised Jewish, was apparently unfamiliar with what was involved with a traditional Christmas meal. He asked if I would help him after work, go over to Albertsons and help him select foods that his wife might enjoy for their first Christmas together.

We went to Albertsons, and he would ask me all sorts of questions, about main dishes, side dishes, traditional desserts, what items went with what, and actually had asked me how some of the items were to be cooked.

We finished shopping at about 1:00 am on Christmas day, and I started to tell him good-bye as I walked to my car. He followed me to my car and said "Merry Christmas, this food is for you and your mom for Christmas".

I started to cry, I didn't know what to say. He told me that after I had told them about our not celebrating Christmas, a group of the employees decided to raise some money for us to have a good Christmas dinner. I later found out that the entire crew and management had donated to help my mom and me have a great Christmas.

I asked him about his dinner with his wife and everything he told me. He said that he and his wife had already done their shopping, and that he had used the same questions on me that he used when he and his wife went shopping.

I will always remember that Christmas.

Sylvia's Brick Oven Restaurant

Located at 625 Columbia Street, in downtown Lafayette, Sylvia's Brick Oven has a selection of starters, soups, salads, sandwiches, pizza's and pasta's. I found the location to be well kept and clean, with some minor spots on the floors and a cluttered service station. The music from the piano and the conversations from the other customers appeared to reverberate off the ceiling and walls, amplifying the sound making it difficult to hear conversations at times.

On a Friday evening at about 8pm, my friend and I arrived during the busy dinner crowd, so our wait for a table was about 10 minutes, which was shorter than the 20 minute wait time we were told upon arrival. I was taken to our table while my friend was talking with someone in the bar area. The tables were set "Pizzeria" style with red & white checkered table cloths, soft candles, and customary pizzeria condiments (salt, pepper,   Parmesan cheese, red peppers, and sweeteners).

Now, I have 20/20 vision, but I had a real difficult time reading the menu, based on the soft lighting and font used that made it almost indecipherable. I am sure the font and menu looks wonderful, I just had difficulty reading it. Luckily, our waiter, Jerry, was excellent at translating the menu for us. It is great when a waiter knows everything about the food he is serving, down to the smallest ingredients. His knowledge was exceptional.

For myself, I ordered a side salad with ranch dressing, an order of "Garlic Knots", and a "Carni" pizza. If you are interested in the menu, you can view it at http://www.sylviasbrickoven.com/menu_3DVV.html.

The salad was a basic spring mix salad of various greens and what looked like a grape tomato cut in half. I was expecting a nice cool, crisp salad but instead I received a salad of room temperature ingredients. Personally, I prefer my salads cold and crisp, but I was unfamiliar with this restaurant, and unfortunately, I did not ask if that was the norm. The restaurant menu states that they use produce from local farmers, so the salad could be exceptionally fresh.

As I am writing this review, I am looking at the menu, online, which I can read much better. For the "Garlic Knots", basically think of dough that is tied in a knot and baked. They are then to be tossed in fresh garlic and Parmesan cheese. Ours arrived at the table drizzled and plated in olive oil and  a dab of pesto on the top of each knot. The pesto had a nice flavor; however, the knots had no flavor at all, just cooked dough. I was asked if I liked the knots, of which I told our waiter that I did not and explained why. He seemed a bit stunned by my comments.

Finally, the pizza arrived, and while I have very discriminating tastes when it comes to pizza, I will admit that I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the pizza. The toppings were perfectly portioned so that each bite was full of exceptional flavor, and the pizza dough seemed to have more flavor that the dough used for the "Garlic Knots".

Overall Experience: B
Food: C
Service: A
Cleanliness: A-
Atmosphere: B
Cost: $25 plus tip

"256 Shades of Gray"

First off, no, I am not talking about my hair, which currently is a lovely shade of salt and pepper.

Yesterday, I was discussing, with a very great friend of mine, my moms "theory" on the 256 shades of grey. but, let me start at the beginning of our conversation. We were discussing the two main types of homophobia, which are listed as "those trying to repress a part of themselves, and a background of abuse when younger". The conversation then turned to my mom, as she was a very wise and lovely woman, who like me, felt that everyone you meet is a potential friend. Of course she could get pissed off at lot quicker than I ever could, but I digress. Anyway, I was telling my friend that when I came out, my mom was like a community mom while I was living in Tucson and Phoenix. She would go to the gay bars with me, she would talk with all the people there, she even tried hooking me up with a few of the guys. But mainly, she was there for some of the guys when even their parents would not have anything to do with them. As a side note, my friend wondered why we don't see or hear more about community moms, and I think it might be because over the past 20 years, parents have started to become more accepting, but again, I digress. So I eventually ask my friend if he had ever seen me post about my moms theory of 256 shades of grey. He said he did not, so I gave him the story I am about to write here. My mom was a true angel, and this is but ONE of the many stories I can tell about how she worked to make a difference in her own part of the world.

"256 Shades of Grey" a theory by Saundra Sue McKeown, as remembered by Edward G. McKeown.

"Most people look at the people in the world and they see things in absolutes. To them, everything is either 'black' or 'white', and there are no compromises. What they tend to miss, or not see in larger picture, is that their really are not absolutes. Their are no 'absolute black' or absolute white', there are only the 256 shades of grey between those two defining points. For the comfort or enjoyment of another persons company, the absolute on one end would be a person that has absolutely no contact with the same sex, while the other absolute would be a person that has absolutely no contact with the opposite sex. Since these two options are relatively impossible, unless stranded alone on a deserted island or the choice to live as a hermit, these absolutes cannot be defined. Men communicate with other men, they go to bars together, they watch sports together, the have some point of contact with the same sex on a daily basis; while for ladies, the same is also true, ladies tend to do things in groups, go to ladies night out, go to bathrooms in groups, etc. And yet, we have no problem with these daily interactions, because it is assumed that ALL of the people involved are strictly 'heterosexual'. The same is true for the other end of the spectrum, where gays and lesbians interact with people of the opposite sex, yet we assume that at least one or more of the people are homosexual, when in fact, it is almost impossible to tell who is homosexual versus who is heterosexual. So this is where the theory of 256 shades of grey comes into light. Everyone, falls somewhere within that scale, and it doesn't really matter where you fall on the scale, just that their are no absolutes. Once you start looking at people in this way, will you truly understand the meaning of tolerance and acceptance."

The proposed 28th Amendment: some information

Earlier today, I received this from my very best friend that I have known for about 20 years and I consider my brother, Rob Walters. I thought it made sense, in part, so I decided to share it and hope that you find it as partially true as I do. Rob had stated that he did not know where it originated, as he received it as an email. I have posted it exactly as it was shared with me.

Unfortunately, Snopes.com lists this as "Mostly false" for several reasons and The World According to Opa notes some interesting views on the subject as well.


As always, you should do some research before passing along a chain email.

Cheers,

Edward G. McKeown

 The 28th Amendment - Please read and pass along

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took  only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people  demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail,
before cell phones, etc.    Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or  less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.

 If you think these are good ideas, I'm asking each addressee to  forward this to a minimum of twenty people on their address  list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.   In three days, most people in The United States of America will have  the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

 Congressional Reform Act of 2011

 1. Term Limits. 12 years only, one of the possible options below.
     A. Two six-year Senate terms
     B. Six two-year House terms
     C. One six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

 2. No Tenure / No Pension. A Congressman collects a salary while in  office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

 3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.

 All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social  Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social  Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.

 4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans can.

 5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional  pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

 6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in  the same health care system as the American people.

 7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

 8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12.

 The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen.  Congressmen made all these contracts for  themselves.   Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers  envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s),  then go home and back to work.

Independence Day comes to a close

As this Independence Day comes to a close, I am reminded of the enjoyment that comes from watching fireworks and celebrating this grand day.

For some, the 4th of July is just another day on the calendar, yet for those of us still in school, it marks the middle of the summer and reminds us that our break is about half over. Except for those of us taking summer classes, anyway.

In just under two months, 7 weeks to be precise, I will be starting my 4th year of PhD studies at Purdue University. If all goes well, I will be done with all of my course work by December and only have to work on my dissertation for the last year and a half. This is an exciting time for me, as I will be the first in my family to achieve a PhD degree and I hope that by making this achievement, I can be a role model for my sister and her kids.

This is a dream come true for me and I have had to fight for this dream. The United States of America was a dream 235 years ago and we have had to fight for that dream ever since as well. For me, Independence Day is our way of showing that we will do whatever is necessary to keep our dreams alive.

Cheers, Edward G. McKeown