***This was written by my Aunt, Judy Angelo, on April 7th, 1999, for a class she was taking in college. She sent a copy of the paper to my mother, because she wrote about me and my mom in this paper. I believe this is wonderfully written, and my mom, before she passed, had said so as well.
I contacted my Aunt and received permission to reprint the paper here for ya'll to see. She added: "It doesn't mean that I condone it just that it isn't something you catch from someone. We are suppose to Love the sinner but hate the sin and since we are all sinners no one is better than anyone else."***
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Is Homosexuality Contagious?
Will
a child who is raised by a homosexual parent grow up to be gay? Not according
to researchers. "More than thirty-five studies in the past fifteen years
have shown that children of gay parents are no more likely to become gay and
are just as well adjusted as other children" (Miller 43). Noted
researchers, Alan Bell and Martin Weinberg, the Bell research team,
"dispelled the myth that homosexuality can be caught from someone. They
found that not only did most subjects (both male and female) report that their
first homosexual encounter involved someone of their own age, they were less likely
than heterosexual subjects to have had initial sexual encounters with a
stranger or an adult" (Ettinger et al. 305). I have a nephew that is gay,
a very good friend whose daughter is gay, and I worked with a gay man for
several years, and none of these homosexuals have a gay or lesbian parent. If
all homosexuals had to come from a homosexual parent then soon everyone would
be homosexual and our species would become extinct.
What
effect could there be on an adolescent raised in a homosexual household? The
effect on the adolescent would depend on several factors such as when the child
learned of the sexual orientation of the parent, how the child learned about
it, and how others in the family reacted to it. A child learns family values from
the parent and if the child is taught to accept that different people have
different lifestyles and though their family life may be different it's right
for them, then the child will probably accept the parents lifestyle and even
learn tolerance toward other people that are different. One subject named
Rebecca Jo tells of her life with her gay father. Rebecca's father and mother
were never married because her mother was a lesbian. Rebecca lived with her father
and his lover Mohammed. She states that "I have always lived with my dad
and I have no regrets about my childhood. The funniest part about growing up in
an all-male household is that all of us had to learn 'girl things' together. Did
I think they were too strict and overprotective? Probably, but I had two
parents who wanted me to be happy, and they both looked forward to being
grandfathers some day. And I knew that some day I would be a wonderful wife and
mother"(Miller 45-46). If a child finds out accidentally, or when they are
older there could be emotional problems. In the case study of Marshall, a young
man who didn't find out about his father's homosexuality until he was out of college,
you can understand his anger and hurt. From a young age Marshall wanted to be just
like his father and play in a band. When his classmates would call his father a
"fag" or "fairy" Marshall would fight them to defend his
father. Marshall's mother was worried about Marshall getting hurt in a fight
but "no one was going to call his father gay and get away with
it"(Miller 75). Marshall received a degree in music and started to travel
and play with his father's band. One evening when Marshall and his father were alone
his father said "Son, you know all these years your friends called me gay?
Well, I have been gay all my life. Your mother knew but made me promise not to
tell. Now that you're a man, I thought you should know. Marshall sprang out of
his chair and shouted. You son of a bitch! All those years I defended you. I had
the crap kicked out of me more times than I can count. You lied to me, and I bet
you lied to my mother so no one would ever really know you were a fag. I don't
ever want to see you again"(Miller 76). I can understand Marshall's
outburst but he probably would have felt bad if he had found out his father had
cheated on his mother with other women, or if he secretly abused her. Marshall
felt betrayed because he had defended his father for so many years and even suffered
beatings because of it. If his father had confessed sooner Marshall would not have
had to defend him.
Is
homosexuality inherent, genetic or learned? The answer to this question varies depending
on who you ask. A number of theories have evolved but none fully explain the
issue. Most of the biological explanations of sexual orientation suspect an
imbalance of hormones that causes homosexuality. Testosterone is present in
both girls and boys but during puberty it doubles in girls while in boys the
testosterone levels increase as much as thirty times during the same time span
(Miller 26). Another study suggests that the reduction of the male hormone
androgen may lead to male homosexuality. One researcher tested this assumption
by giving extra androgen to some homosexual volunteers. All it did was to increase
their desire for men (Miller 27). Many researchers think biological factors may
play a critical role in sexual orientation, but scientists have not yet been
able to prove it.
The
learning theory emphasizes the importance of learning in the development of sexual
orientation and believe that homosexuality is the result of negative
heterosexual experiences. According to these behavioral theorists,
homosexuality is learned either by rewards stimulating the behavioral
(homosexual) pattern or punishment associated with the opposite (heterosexual)
behavioral pattern (Miller 28).
The
psychodynamic theory proposes that the relationship between parents and children
may have an effect on sexual orientation. These theorist believe that we are
all pansexual (arousable by both sexes) and that during the course of a
lifetime we all go through stages both homoerotic and heterotic. Conflicts or
fixations at key stages of development can result in a homosexual orientation,
whereas conflicts or fixations at other stages can result in a heterosexual
orientation (Miller 29).
I
tend to believe that homosexuality is a combination of these theories. Both my sister,
whose son is gay, and my friend, whose daughter is gay, believes their child
was born homosexual. They both say they knew when the child was very young that
they were different. One the other hand both were in abusive marriages when the
child was born. In both marriages the husband was the dominant or controlling
person. I think a person may be born with a genetic predisposition to
homosexuality perhaps caused by a prenatal hormone imbalance, but I don't feel
we can discount the importance of the role between parent and child. When one
parent is abusive the other might be over-protective causing an unrealistic
view of the normal male/female role. I think there is still a great amount of
research to be done, and at this point homosexuality could be genetic, it could
stem from the parent/child relationship, but more likely is a combination of
the two.
